Written by Zoë Holloway, July 7, 2016

Gwen Stefani shocked fans when she announced in February of last year that she and Gavin Rossdale, her husband of 13 years, had split amid allegations he cheated. The 46-year-old singer remained relatively quiet throughout the whole ordeal, but now she’s opening up about how the divorce affected her.

‘It was the beginning of hell,’ the No Doubt frontwoman tells Harper’s Bazaar. ‘Like six, seven, eight months of torture, trying to figure out this big secret.’

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Gwen admits she wanted to ‘tell everybody’ but kept the news quiet for the sake of her three children, Kingston, 10, Zuma, seven, and two-year-old Apollo, adding that songwriting and spirituality guided her through a situation in which she felt helpless.

‘What happened was praying. That’s my childhood, that’s how I was raised. And I think I strayed from that. But you know when it gets that bad, you just get desperate? You’re on your knees. You’re like, “What do I do?” You can’t even go to your parents and ask them what to do,’ she says.

Finally happy again, Gwen says the best thing to come from her ordeal was her newfound romance with her fellow The Voice judge, country crooner Blake Shelton, 40, with the two confirming they were dating in November.

‘And then it was just like everything flipped,’ she explains. ‘It went from horrible to, like, hopeful and, like, “Wow, God, you just don’t know what’s gonna happen next.”’

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