That’s exactly what the makers of Fifty Shades of Grey – the movie – hope you’ll be doing.
The film, based on the book that sold 100 million copies, is scheduled for release on Valentine’s Day in the US (slightly earlier in Australia because of how the calendar works.)
Which is kind of sweet: instead of a teddy holding a heart-shaped pillow, take your beloved to see a bondage-and- discipline flick (if sales of the book are a guide, it’s what she wants, dude.)
Then again, what if it’s awful?
This a purely subjective opinion, but the two trailers – presumably the best bits of the film? – are awful.
In the first of them, Christian Grey offers to take Anastasia to see his ‘play room’ (as fans will know, this is the Red Room of Pain, where he keeps all his bondage toys.)
She says: “What, like your X-box and stuff?”
DH Lawrence, it ain’t.
In another scene, Christian says he has a helicopter parked outside, and says Ana can leave any time. Natch, she doesn’t want to leave. She wants to stay with the rich guy and his private planes and his billion dollars and his commitment to her sexual pleasure.
How anyone could think this book would NOT sell is the surprise.
The most famous line – “Mr Grey will see you now” – is spoken by an Australian actress, Emily Fonda, who is absolutely perfect as the prim secretary.
Nobody is supposed to have seen the whole film yet, but some special people – long time fans of the book – were given tickets to special pre-screenings over the weekend (Kim Kardashian also got to have an early look, during an all-girl movie night at the movie theatre in her own house.)
The Daily Beast had a reporter stake out the secret screening. One of the guests was a 14-year-old boy who complained about the repetitive sex in the book, and in the film (they don’t make 14 year old boys like they used to, obviously.)
Quite a few said it was funny. Quite a few also said they would see it again.
The pre-publicity has been disastrous, with both actors saying they felt a little dirty and grubby and weirded-out during film; and the director and the writer agreeing that they didn’t get along.
On the other hand, the film, like the book, apparently makes you want to have sex, which has got to be a good thing on Valentine’s Day.
PS: Here’s something to make you feel really old: the bondage submissive, Anastasia Steele, is played by Dakota Johnson, who is Melanie Griffiths daughter with Don Johnson, from before she even met Antonio Banderas, let alone got a divorce from him after 18 years of marriage.
PPS: If it’s all a bit much for you, do watch the Lego trailer. It may even be better than the film:
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